Hineini: What is Spiritual Care?

Throughout the Torah, as God is starting relationships with Abraham, Moses, Isaiah, each responds with the simple word, הִנֵּֽנִי (Hineini), here I am. This statement is said with real trepidation for each of them, as they see what will come to their lives when they accept such a request. Their acceptance is sober, yet steadfast. They say, “I choose to be present to God’s requests, giving myself fully to what is to come.”

In the San Francisco Night Ministry, we talk a lot about a ministry of presence. I’ll spend time in a future week working out what ministry means, but today I’m thinking about what it means to be present with someone or in something. The language of presence reminded me of Abraham Joshua Heschel’s writing On Prayer, in which he talks about the power of prayer to break down our barriers between God and from each other.

Heschel, in 1972, laments that as a society we are disenchanted with our world, which is leading us to dissociation from one another. When we forget to be in awe of those around us - every aspect of each individual around us - then we forget to be in praise to the Holy One of Blessing. In his writing, Heschel reminds us “just to be is a blessing. Just to live is holy. And yet, being alive is no answer to the problems of living. To be or not to be is not the question. The vital question is: how to be and how not to be?”

So, how shall we be? To live in awe of each other is to see each person as an imprint of divine creation [B’tzelem Elohim]. To be with people in their vulnerable moments is to be under Mt. Sinai with them as they channel their Torah and provide reflection in hearing them. In sitting with someone and hearing their stories, we are providing full recognition of their lived reality.

I’m likewise thinking of Martin Buber’s I-Thou framework, in which the ultimate goal is to have no medium or expectation of the Other as we are in relationship with them - to be lost in the palace of time while we speak one to the Other. I want to learn from everyone, and I can only do so when I approach them from a place of humility and awe. 

Prayer’s goal is to break down the barrier between God and humans. If we see God in each living being, then the act of breaking down barriers between people is an act of prayer. We do this by seeing people for who they are, by listening to each other, by singing in community, by allowing ourselves to be held, etc.. The list goes on.

“At first men sought mutual understanding by taking counsel with one another, but now we understand one another less and less. There is a gap between the generations. It will soon widen to be an abyss. The only bridge is to pray together, to consult God before seeking counsel with one another…a wall stands between man and God, and at the wall we must pray, searching for a cleft, for a crevice, through which our words can enter, and reach God behind the wall. In prayer we must often knock our heads against the stone wall.”

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Hineini Prayer (on Rosh Hashanah Day, Musaf Service) translation by Sefaria.com with edits by me:

הִנְנִי הֶעָנִי מִמַּֽעַשׂ, נִרְעַשׁ וְנִפְחַד מִפַּֽחַד יוֹשֵׁב תְּהִלּוֹת יִשְׂרָאֵל. בָּֽאתִי לַעֲמֹד וּלְהִתְחַנֵּן לְפָנֶֽיךָ עַל עַמְּךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל אֲשֶׁר שְׁלָחֽוּנִי. אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁאֵינִי כְּדַאי וְהָגוּן לְכָךְ. לָכֵן אֲבַקֵּשׁ מִמְּךָ אֱלֹהֵי אַבְרָהָם אֱלֹהֵי יִצְחָק וֵאלֹהֵי יַעֲקֹב. הי הי אֵל רַחוּם וְחַנּוּן אֱלֹהֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל. שַׁדַּי אָיוֹם וְנוֹרָא, הֱיֵה נָא מַצְלִֽיחַ דַּרְכִּי אֲשֶׁר אֲנִי הוֹלֵךְ לַעֲמֹד וּלְבַקֵּשׁ רַחֲמִים עָלַי וְעַל שׁוֹלְחָי. נָא אַל תַּפְשִׁיעֵם בְּחַטֹּאתַי וְאַל תְּחַיְּבֵם בַּעֲו‍ֹנוֹתַי. כִּי חוֹטֵא וּפוֹשֵֽׁעַ אָֽנִי. וְאַל יִכָּלְמוּ בִּפְשָׁעַי וְאַל יֵבֽוֹשׁוּ הֵם בִּי וְאַל אֵבוֹשׁ אֲנִי בָּהֶם. וְקַבֵּל תְּפִלָּתִי כִּתְפִלַּת זָקֵן וְרָגִיל וּפִרְקוֹ נָאֶה וּזְקָנוֹ מְגֻדָּל וְקוֹלוֹ נָעִים וּמְעֻרָב בְּדַֽעַת עִם הַבְּרִיּוֹת. וְתִגְעַר בַּשָּׂטָן לְבַל יַשְׂטִינֵֽנִי. וִיהִי נָא דִלּוּגֵֽנוּ עָלֶֽיךָ אַהֲבָה. וְעַל כָּל פְּשָׁעִים תְּכַסֶּה בְּאַהֲבָה. וְכָל צָרוֹת וְרָעוֹת הֲפָךְ נָא לָנוּ וּלְכָל יִשְׂרָאֵל לְשָׂשׂוֹן וּלְשִׂמְחָה לְחַיִּים וּלְשָׁלוֹם. הָאֱמֶת וְהַשָּׁלוֹם אֱהָֽבוּ וְלֹא יְהִי שׁוּם מִכְשׁוֹל בִּתְפִלָּתִי. וִיהִי רָצוֹן מִלְּפָנֶֽיךָ יְהֹוָה אֱלֹהֵי אַבְרָהָם יִצְחָק וְיַעֲקֹב. הָאֵל הַגָּדוֹל הַגִּבּוֹר וְהַנּוֹרָא. אֵל עֶלְיוֹן. אֶהְיֶה אֲשֶׁר אֶהְיֶה. שֶׁכָּל הַמַּלְאָכִים שֶׁהֵם מַעֲלֵי תְפִלּוֹת. יָבִֽיאוּ תְפִלָּתִי לִפְנֵי כִסֵּא כְבוֹדֶֽךָ. וְיַצִּֽיגוּ אוֹתָהּ לְפָנֶֽיךָ. בַּעֲבוּר כָּל הַצַּדִּיקִים וְהַחֲסִידִים וְהַיְּשָׁרִים. וּבַעֲבוּר כְּבוֹד שִׁמְךָ הַגָּדוֹל וְהַנּוֹרָא. כִּי אַתָּה שׁוֹמֵֽעַ תְּפִלַּת עַמְּךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל בְּרַחֲמִים. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה שׁוֹמֵֽעַ תְּפִלָּה:

Here I am. Standing here, impoverished in good deeds, perturbed and frightened in fear, before that Who is enthroned upon the praises of Yisrael. I have come to stand and to plead before You on behalf of Your people, Yisrael, who have appointed me their messenger; even though I am not worthy or qualified for the task. I therefore beseech You, God of Abraham, God of Yitzchak and God of Yaakov; Adonai, Adonai, Almighty, Compassionate and Gracious, God of Yisrael, Satisfier, Eminent and Awesome, please, help me succeed in the mission which I have undertaken to stand and to seek mercy for myself and for those who have appointed me. Don’t hold them responsible for my sins, nor condemn them for my iniquities; I am a sinner and a transgressor. Let them not be disgraced through my transgressions; may they not be ashamed of me, nor may I be ashamed of them. Receive my prayer as the prayer of one who is mature and experienced [in prayer], and as one who is respected, whose beard is full-grown, whose voice is pleasant, and who is kind to all creatures. Rebuke Satan to not accuse me, and please may we be together for You with love; and may all transgressions be covered over with love. All our troubles and afflictions; please overturn them for us and all Yisrael into happiness and joy, life and peace. May they love truth and peace, and may there be no impediment in my prayer. And may it be Your will, Adonoy, God of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov, the Almighty, the Great, the Powerful, the Awesome, most high, Almighty, [Who is known by the Name]: “I am that I am” that all the angels who convey prayers, may they bring my prayers to the presence of Your glorious throne, and present them to You for the sake of all those who are righteous, pious and upright, and for the sake of Your glorious Name, Great and Awesome; for You hear the prayers of Your people, Yisrael, with compassion. Blessed are You Hearer of prayers.